While there’s no surefire way to avoid heartbreak (unless you’re an unfeeling robot, of course), there is a way through it—even if, at the moment, you truly believe you’ll never be happy again. Here are simple steps from real money pokies.
Don’t Let Your Emotions Rule
Try not to view the end of a relationship as a failure. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to learn and grow.2 It doesn’t matter if it was your first relationship or if you’ve had others before. Everyone, whether they’re 15 or 50, can get to know themselves better and work on improving their relationship skills. You may have a lot of anger around the relationship, including the way it ended. You may even be tempted to “exact revenge” on your ex or fantasize about interfering in or disrupting their life—including new relationships.
Do Take Care of Yourself
Good self-care is emotional, physical, and spiritual. You have your own unique needs in each area, but there are some general acts of self-care that are beneficial for almost everyone, such as a nutritious diet, regular exercise, a social support system, and strategies for coping with stress, to name a few. Try to be patient, gentle, kind, and giving toward yourself. It may help to know that the pain of a break-up is not just emotional; research has shown people can also feel physical pangs of loss.3
Physical Consequences of Emotional Pain
You may also need to work on restoring the “big picture” perspective. When you’re in a romantic relationship, it may be a central part of your life, but romantic love isn’t the only kind that can be nourishing. Continue to nurture relationships with friends, family, and yourself. If you feel guilt or shame about your role in a relationship that has ended, it may be hard to be a good friend to yourself as you work through these feelings. Keep in mind that practicing compassion toward yourself makes it more likely you’ll attract that kind of energy from others.
If you find you cannot let go of a relationship or feel you are unable to cope with the loss (even with support from friends and family) as time goes on, you may want to seek counselling.
Don’t Get Stuck in the Past
We all have the tendency to look back on our lives, or certain relationships, with “rose-colored glasses.” The effect of “rosy retrospection” is that you may refuse to see the problems and only focus on the good parts (which you’re likely to miss). Sometimes, both the good and bad memories may feel as though they’re playing on an endless loop in your mind. These intrusive thoughts can slow down the process of healing and can be quite distressing. Don’t get stuck in the games you lost at casino online real money, look forward.
Though it may be difficult, try not to lose perspective. No relationship is all bad, but none are perfect either. If you are glorifying the relationship or find you continue to put your ex on a pedestal, it may be a sign that you need to give yourself some emotional and perhaps physical distance.5
Do Appreciate the Good Memories
Even if your relationship ended on a sour note, chances are, it was not all bad. It’s normal to look back at what was good about it, and you may find you miss certain things about your ex and the love you shared. At the same time, you may feel overwhelmed by the empty space that’s left when the relationship ends or harbor resentment about what happened that lead to its dissolution. Riding out these shifts in emotions is part of the healing process. When a happy memory comes up, allow yourself to be grateful for it—then move on.
Don’t Deny Your Needs
Being honest with yourself about your needs (especially those that aren’t being met) can be a painful process. You may feel it would be easier, and less painful, to simply ignore them. While it may feel better in the short term to “numb” yourself to the hurt, it will only make it harder for you to heal in the long term. Pretending you don’t have needs makes it impossible for you to grow, both in your relationships with others and the one you have with yourself.